The Countdown's On
Children like routines and knowing what is happening next in their lives. Even though a child may know his bedtime is 8:00 p.m. he might still try to make deals, beg & plead, or even throw a fit to stay up longer. Giving a child a warning or two that bedtime is drawing near helps to prevent some of the resistance.
If you do give warnings, make sure that the amount of time left between the warning and the actual bedtime is understandable for the child's age. Though a small child might not really comprehend how long two minutes is, he will be more cooperative with a two minute warning than if you tell him he has to go to bed in a half an hour, then after the half hour you try to put him right to bed. Since most small children have a short attention span, a half hour warning will be long forgotten in 10 minutes and will do almost nothing to prepare the child to transition smoothly.
Every child is different, but most respond well to either a 10 minute warning and then a 5 minute warning, or a 5 minute and then a 2 minute warning. If you keep your warning times consistent and actually follow through when you say it is bedtime or time to leave a playdate etc., then you will probably experience less resistance than you would with random warnings or no warnings at all.
Lisa McLellan
Comments
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you must follow through -- this is the key, along with consistency. Children understand routines especially when they are very young. And, everyone wants to resist being told what to do and when. I know, I still do! I remember my son's creativity at avoiding bedtime when I first met him at 3 years of age. He was a challenge and a half at bedtime. In the end, routine, consistency, expectations and follow through worked reasonably well. There were a lot of 'behind-the-scenes' reasons for the behaviour too
Sue Crutcher, Baby Steps to Success Expert
PS -- I've updated my website if you get a chance to take a look
John Ho
Understanding Personalities for Better Influence & Persuasion (blog)
Understanding Personalities for Better Influence & Persuasion
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